It’s been an interesting day for this Mindset Coach. #RawAlert
I had a man I was working with show me his Jekyll & Hyde. I had been warned, but I hadn’t seen it myself.
I’ll tell you that when a man goes from super nice to crazy angry on me, it’s what I would define as an actual “trigger” at this point in my life.
Years ago I ended up in an incredibly verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. And like every other power woman who finds herself in that situation, I would’ve NEVER predicted I would be of them. Yet, there I was.
The first time I saw the rage was when I accidentally dropped a dish towel on the kitchen floor and picked it up. He screamed, “Don’t put that back on the counter. What’s wrong with you? You’re disgusting!”
I was shocked and confused. I had *never* dealt with anything so random before.
So I let it go.
Long story short, many months later, I was standing in his driveway trying to get my sidekick miniature pinscher, Pete, to come to me (Pete was a notorious escaper and he would NOT come back when he found freedom), when the guy walked out of his front door with what I thought was a shotgun.
I thought he was going to shoot me and Pete. And there was a weird peace that fell over me–at least I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore…just let Pete go quickly and peacefully.
(Pay attention to that journey–it went from dropping a dish towel to a shotgun.)
Turns out it was a broomstick, and to Pete’s credit, he was waaaaayyyyy faster in his younger days. I slept on the guy’s back porch slab that night in hopes that Pete would smell me and come back to me. I’d learned from dad that dogs come to their owner’s essence.
Pete snuggled in next to me around 4 AM the next morning.
I finally ended up exiting the abusive situation. Pete transitioned after 17 years of us being together. …obviously, Pete won.
I tell you all that to say three things:
1. Pay attention to the first things.
2. Dogs are more important than boyfriends.
3. ANYTIME you note behavior that hits you right in the gut, Handle.It.Then. Do NOT question yourself.
Today, I called out a man for abusive behavior in a very professional setting.
He raged harder.
Today, I told him that he is responsible for his language, his actions and his reputation. NOT ME.
He raged even harder.
And today, after being a Mindset coach for 7 years, I cut it off immediately.
So I’m wondering, what are the non-negotiable behaviors you all have? Have you identified what you won’t tolerate (immediately) yet?