…have you ever had someone in your life who really just isn’t nice to you?
I do, actually, if we’re being honest.
I have a person in my life right now who would call me a friend. I’ve paid bills for this person when they couldn’t afford it, I’ve gone and sat at their house when they had to work and couldn’t wait for the gas company to come turn their gas back on, and I’ve been the shoulder they cry on when their latest romantic flame cheated on them.
This person shows up when they need something.
I just got another text.
If you read it, you’d think it was benign. If you were me, however, you’d know it’s a text to basically say, “I’m sorry.” Which means the person has realized they’ve been a jerk, and they’re trying to apologize, so that they’re set up when they need me again down the road.
It’s not my first rodeo.
And up till now, I’ve been complicit in the agreement.
As with any of my friends, I don’t need to talk to you all the time. Once you’re in, you’re in.
Shoot, I have a college buddy who lives in Syracuse with his stunning wife and 3 super-cool boys. I haven’t seen him since college, but if he called me right now and said, “Belinda, my family needs ___,” I’d be on a plane.
My friends know I’m pulled in a million directions.
They also know that I have a bit a depression (don’t panic, I’m fine), and my depression manifests as isolation. In other words, I HATE to put my crap on other people.
For instance, my friend Kelley is one of my most trusted friends on the planet—I’ve known her since college, too, actually. Kelley is one of the best people on the planet. Period. And while I could text her about my Mom’s illness, I couldn’t talk to her face to face about it till a few weeks ago.
How did Kelley deal with me?
She just patiently invited me to coffee until I could do it, and then she showed up when I could. Kelley doesn’t have to be that person for me, but she is. I’d give her a kidney, and I’m not even kidding.
So today as I’m reviewing the people in my life who are good and kind, I have this one thorn.
But the thorn reminds me that I stink as a friend, too, sometimes. I will totally be there in a pinch, but the in-betweens get difficult so I need a little understanding. And maybe this person is the same as me, but in a different way.
I’m not sure if I’m going to allow the nonsense to continue or not.
And then I think of Kelley, and I’m infinitely grateful she allows my nonsense to continue.
I don’t know.
And while I’m a life coach, I’m also a life participant.
I’ll tell you a thousand times over as a life coach that I believe you already know your own answer. Truth be told, I already know mine if I’m willing to acknowledge it.
But for today, this is just a confessional post.
And, no, I haven’t responded to the text…